This week I’ve been thinking a lot about identity. Particularly what it is and how to discover your true identity. I’m reminded of a line in the musical Wonderland “Identity is tricky, tricky business – you are not your name and you’re not your address” I would add that you are not your gender, your profession, your religion, your sexual orientation, your political affiliation, your ethnic race, or your economic status. Those are labels – not identities. Identity is soul deep – identity is eternal.

Labels vs Identity

An author I read defined labels as “Labels are only about what other people make of us.”

As humans we like to stick labels on things, especially other humans. We group ourselves in nice little categorical boxes and stick a label on it. The problem with that is it divides us into categorical boxes, labels will never unite the human race as a whole.

Identity comes through knowing our self-worth and our place in the universe.  We are Sons and Daughters of God which give us infinite worth. The scriptures put it nicely – “What is man, that thou art mindful of him? And the son of man, that thou visitest him? For thou hast made him a little lower than the angels, and hast crowned him with glory and honour” (Psalm 8:4-5). We are also indebted to God for all that we have, without Him we are nothing, less then the dust of the earth – a great ego check. It is through the relationship between self-worth and our relationship to God that our identifies are rediscovered. It is only through discovering our true identities that the human race can be united.

Finding Yourself

How do we go about rediscovering our identity? It starts I think by discovering our individuality, what makes me – me and you – you. Self-worth grows as we embrace what makes us tick, what gets us passionate. We may know intellectually that our Heavenly Father loves us unconditionally and thinks our worth is great but sometimes that does not translate into feelings of self-worth. It is discovering purpose and love for your uniqueness that allows the feelings of self-worth to grow in our hearts. Christ may plant the seed but we must nourish it so it can flourish into a tree.

Do you struggle coming up with what makes you unique or embracing what makes you whole? I did and still sometimes do. I have discovered some tools that have helped me and others find ourself.

Ask a friend.

In high school I struggled a lot with self-worth. One of my college admission essay prompts was basically tell us what makes you unique. I couldn’t on my own – I was just your run of the mill teenager who didn’t really know herself because she was always trying to “fit in”. I turned to the young women in my ward. We had done an activity in the recent past where we each wrote on a piece of paper what we found unique in each other. That became my essay. It wasn’t until many years later that I was able to identify in myself the things that I am passionate about.

Do Something.

I listen to the About Progress podcast and Monica, the host, has an amazing thing she does every year that started with trying to find herself again after getting lost in the shuffle of life. She creates a “Do Something” list. Things that inspire exploration and curiosity – not a list of should do’s or goals. Ever want to try something new but were afraid you wouldn’t be good at it – doesn’t matter put it on the list. Remember that thing you used to love but stopped doing because it wasn’t ‘cool’, or you didn’t feel like you were ‘the best’ at it – put it on the list. The list is about trying new things and discovering old loves. The list is not about goal setting or being perfect.  It’s about finding the things that bring you joy and fulfillment. (Also maybe put listen to the podcast About Progress on the list, this one is where she goes through creating a Do Something list).

Study the Scriptures.

You may be asking yourself – what is she talking about? How does studying the scriptures help me find identity? Fair question. Studying the scriptures helps us develop our relationship with Christ and deepens our understanding of our divine selves, our eternal natures.

George T. Boyd states: “Scripture reading enables [man] to see life, not alone from the human point of view, but in some degree from God’s.

“This perspective fills two of man’s important needs—a sense of individual worth and a feeling of self-subordination. Either of these are achievable alone. But how easy it is for a sense of personal worth to turn to an intolerable egoism and self-conceit—or a sense of self-subordination—to turn into a false humility or morbid self-depreciation.

“In the scriptures man finds that he belongs to a whole, of which God is a part. Belonging to such a whole gives him a sense of the value of his own soul, but seen in relation to God reveals his dependence and hence his subordination. … Thus, a devout use of the scriptures nourishes the spiritual life with a calm that displaces the doubts and anxieties which paralyze mankind.” (Views on Man and Religion, ed. James Allen et al., Provo, Utah: Friends of George T. Boyd, 1979, p. 207.)

Studying and pondering the words of God also allows us to better understand how we hear Him in our own lives. When we hear Him better – He can direct us to discovering the person He knows we can be.

Journaling

I am not a very good (consistent) journaler but I am striving to be better. I discovered during the COVID-19 lockdowns that journaling was a therapeutic way to distill emotions and discover new thoughts as I wrote daily. My journals now are not a log of my mostly boring life – who would want to write about just another day at the office (not me – which is why I didn’t write). They have become a safe place for my inward musings and outward fears and longings. They have become a place for me to work through my questions and connect with the world around me. Through journaling I re-discovered my love for writing and many other things about myself.

Finding Your Place

I am a firm believer that we all have a place in the plans of our Heavenly Father. We all have a purpose for our lives here on earth. Some people’s purpose may be to accomplish great and noteworthy things, some people’s purpose may not be in the limelight. To God it is all the same.

Each of us has a divine purpose to lift those around us, as Christ lifts us up. In the Doctrine and Covenants we read a lot about working with “your might.” A friend recently expanded my vision of what that could mean. We all have individual strengths and weaknesses – when we work with our might, we work with our strengths – not things that may be week to us. We don’t try to accomplish our tasks using someone else’s strengths – that leads to frustration. When we lean into our work with what we are good at, even if it looks different then what other people are doing, it leads to fulfillment and finding our place in the plans of God.

Conclusion

Our true identity, as daughters and sons of the Most High God, is the greatest thing we can discover in the life. It won’t be found in the outward labels we give ourselves but in the inward working of our souls. Identity will be discovered as we serve God with all our might and work to awaken the gifts God gives us to be able to bring to pass His Glory.