Between the Footprints

How often in life do we fall into the trap of thinking that “when I [insert next milestone here] I will be happy” I know I fall into that trap more often than I would like. Just the other day I had the thought – this would be so much easier if I were married. I have found myself thinking life would be better if only I could lose so many pounds, or get over my anxiety, or buy a house. You all know the thoughts; I am positive you have had similar thoughts about things you want to accomplish in your life. I too often must remind myself, that is not actually something I can predict, plus milestones don’t change our ability to work toward a goal or to find happiness in our current circumstance.

Like footprints in the sand, milestones just pinpoint passing time, a fleeting moment. It is the distance between the footprints that show the true story our travels. Milestones do not show the preparation, the hours of work, or all the countless other things that move us forward towards our next milestone. If we only celebrated or had reason to be happy when we reached a milestone, what a melancholy existence that would be! Just as, typically, our strides cover far more distance in the sand then do our footprints, we live far more of our life between milestones then at them.

So, what are we to do when we find ourselves counting down, so to speak, to our next milestone? Longing for a future that we may or may not have control of? How do we find joy in our individual journeys, even when our journeys are difficult? This is a question of the ages; one I think we all struggle with from time to time. Especially in the difficult times, or the times when our dreams and the desires of our heart remain unfulfilled.

I’m not going to pretend to have the answers for your particular journey, but I will share what has helped me remember I can choose to be – at the very least – content if I cannot be happy in my everyday existence.

• “Be where you are while you’re here.” Cherie Call & Hillary Weeks

Being present in my own life, not tied to my cell phone, social media or other distractions has helped me see blessings and opportunities I would have otherwise missed out on. The best thing I ever did (recently) to work towards being more present was turn my ringer to silent. I used to be ruled by the notification ding or incoming calls. I completely understand that this is not always possible, especially since I have accidently missed several calls from my boss – whoops.

• “The true secret to happiness lies in taking a genuine interest in all the details of life and elevating them to an art.” William Morris

This is what it means to me to live an abundant life: to live life recognizing the details of our existence – the emotions, the sounds, the smells, the sights, the textures – and elevating them to a form of art. And just like art, recognize there will be pieces of life we don’t understand the purpose for or if it could even be considered “good”. When I am at a point in my life where I’m wondering what the purpose could possibly be at this moment, I try to remember that the process of creating art is a messy one, and maybe this moment I am in is part of the “working phase” not the finished piece.

• Recognize when it is time to add or remove things from our lives.

In one of my painting classes in collage, I was working on a piece based on the word chaos. It was a struggle for me, chaos is not something I usually welcome in my life. I was working on the background for the piece and as my professor reviewed what I thought was a finished piece he asked if I had a blade with me. I did and he took it and started scraping off some of the paint. He taught me something that day that I have remembered since. Sometimes we need to add paint and sometimes we need to scrape it off. It’s all apart of the process of getting to a finished piece. And so, it is in our lives, there are points in our journey when we feel compelled to add to our lives – follow that feeling. There will also be points when we feel compelled to remove something from our lives, either temporarily or permanently – follow that feeling. All of this give and take works together to create the masterpiece that is our life.

• “Honor the space between no longer and not yet.”

When working towards a dream, a goal or trying to change a habit, this one is a hard one to remember, but is vital to finding joy in the journey. Did you go on a road trip as a kid or with your kids as an adult? How often were the words “are we there yet” spoken? I’m willing to bet a few times. We get impatient for our destination, often because sitting in a car is definitely not as fun as where we were going, right? The same impatience happens when we are working towards a goal or trying to change a habit. Why aren’t I there yet? This shouldn’t be taking so long, this is hard! I have found that life (and road trips) are so much more enjoyable when I stop to experience all the journey has to offer, whether it is lessons I learn along the way or taking a moment to recognize how far I have come from where I began.

There are more ways and ideas of how we can be happy and find contentment in our everyday live, but for me these are what are helping currently. A quick recap – be present, be interested in the small details, recognize when it’s time to add or let go, honor how far you have come.

I would love to hear what helps you remember to find joy or contentment in your present circumstance.